Now that the holidays are over, we can finally get back to
talking about some of my other adventures. When I was still seeing
Jerry-the-trainer, Mom had the idea that she was going to try to teach me how
to pull a cart. I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but in my usual
easy-going manner (Mom snorted!) I told her that I would give it a try. Mom first
put a harness on me and used a piece of rope to tie an empty gallon plastic bottle
behind me. We walked up and down and up and down the street with me dragging the
stupid thing, and although every dog in the neighborhood thought I was a big
dork, nothing else happened. Mom was worried because she had read in a book
that sometimes dogs think they are being chased, but here’s the million dollar
question….Why would I be afraid of a plastic bottle, even if it was chasing me?
It’s a shame that people think we are such wienies.
So, from there I graduated to two empty plastic gallon
bottles (double-dork) and then Mom over time started filling first one bottle,
then the other, with water. Then, she
upgraded me to pulling a tire. These activities made so much noise and became
such show that the neighborhood dog association began talking about selling
tickets. So, anyways, the next time Mom took me to see Jerry, I noticed that he
was fooling around with my harness and connecting something, but it wasn’t
until he tugged on my leash that I realized there was a big metal devil thing with wheels running
after me and I started spazzing out and crying “SAVE ME, MOM, SAVE ME!” Jerry and Mom moved
very fast and got the devil thing off me. Then, they let me calm down as I was
very shaken up. I thought about asking for a doggie Xanax, but then decided that
a nice hamburger might be a better idea.
After a bit, Jerry and Mom told me the metal thing wasn’t a
devil but a cart. They put it back on me again, and though I didn’t like it, I
only looked back at it every thirty seconds or so. Jerry whispered something to
Mom and she went in front of me and started walking and calling my name. I didn’t
have time to pay much attention to the cart after that because I was too busy
trying to keep up with Mom. Me and the devil cart chased her all around the
yard several times. We would have caught her, too, but the devil cart had a
tree stump riding on his back, so he was very heavy to pull. In the interest of
fairness, I am going to suggest next time that Mom carry a tree stump,
too!
At the end of my eight week basic training with Jerry, he
decided to give me something really hard for my final exam. He had Mom put me
in a “down-stay” and then brought several of his own dogs out in the yard and
put them in a down-stay, too, right next to me. That was hard enough, but then
he opened the gate to his yard and in walked a rooster and a couple of chickens! You could have knocked me over with a feather
and Mom, too! I heard her say under her
breath, “Oh God, here comes a bloodbath.” The chickens and rooster clucked and waddled through
the yard, but all of us dogs pretty much maintained our position. One or the
other of us would start to get up at different times and Mom or Jerry would say
“No” and we would lie back down. So I got a big A+ on my final exam and Mom was
very proud! Here is a picture in case you think I am telling a big fib.
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