Where I Talk About How I Like to Howl

Friends, did I ever tell you about how I like to howl? Well, I do. I live nearby something called a hospital and all the cars that have screaming machines on top like to go there. When I hear them go by making all that noise, it just seems like I have to join in. It feels so good to let loose…you know, point your nose toward the sky and shout as loud as you can. I don’t know why this feels great, it just does. It must be a dog thing. Mom says I am loud enough to shatter glass when I get going. She calls me “white fang” or “call of the wild” when I howl and it’s almost dark and cold and she can only see my shadow out in the yard. This is a private joke because my grandma was convinced when she first heard me that I was secretly a wolf. I think I could be a wolf if I wanted to, but I would rather just be a good boy.

One time, my Mom and Dad were in the car and I was with them in the back seat. (By the way, I don’t see why I always have to be the one in the back seat, I am thinking about making a complaint to the German Shepherd Society.) Anyways, Mom was driving and she pulled into a place where they have little tiny humans inside small gray boxes that talk to you. I heard her say something about hamburgers and my ears perked up. I was trying very hard to think of some way of getting her to order a hamburger for me when all the sudden, I heard something. Mom had time enough to say “Oh, God, no” and then I commenced: AAAARRRRROOOO! AAARRRROOO!   RUFF! Ruff! RUFF! AAAARRRROOOO!  AAAARRRROOOOOOO!   AAARRRROOOOO!  Ruff!   Ruff! Ruff! Mom had her hands over her ears and she and Dad were laughing real hard. The tiny human in the box kept talking the whole time, but Mom and Dad couldn’t hear a word he was saying.

Sometimes, Mom will howl and bark with me, but she doesn’t do it right. My guess is that she failed Basic Howling 101. I have tried to teach her, but you know how hard it is to catch up once you fall behind. Sadly, I think she will always be a little bit below average in this area, but I will bite any dog that says so. Nobody hurts my Mom and lives to tell about it.