I’ve got a lot to tell you about this week so let’s get
started right away! First thing, Mom came home one day talking about something
called Halloween. She told me that one night every year, human puppies get
dressed up in scary outfits and try to trick people into giving them candy.
This did not sound right to me, I didn’t want anyone scaring my Mom and Dad and
taking their candy (whatever that is) so I asked Mom if she wanted me to chase
the demon puppies away. But she said no, she enjoyed seeing them come to the
door and then she talked some about training me to give out candy. Humans are
very odd is all I have to say.
A day or two later, she brought home a bag from PetSmart
that smelled kind of interesting. You can imagine my disappointment when she
pulled out some stupid outfits and tried to put them on me! (Why do even
the best of humans have an uncontrollable desire to put clothes on dogs?) The
first costume had pictures of a rocket on it. It was dorky and I didn’t want to
stick my legs through the holes, so I refused to have anything to do with it.
Mom said the only other 2X costumes they had were Winnie the Pooh or Eeyore and
I would have looked a lot dorkier in them than the rocket suit. The second costume
was just an extra-large and it was a little snug, but not too uncomfortable. It
went over my head and then strapped around my belly and I grumbled a little
bit, but mostly just for show. Mom said I looked awful cute in that one and she
would take the rocket suit back. She said not to tell you what costume it is,
we will save it for a surprise next time.
Last weekend, Mom and a friend from work took me to a “Barktoberfest.
It was a bright sunshiny day and there were people everywhere, places where
they were selling things and good smelling food and about a million other dogs
walking around. (It used to be that I didn’t like other dogs too much, but I am
getting more used to them now as long as they don’t come near my yard.) The
first thing that happened was a huge pit bull came over and kissed me right in
the choppers and I decided he was nice so I kissed him back! That must have
started something because I tell you I got kissed by just about every dog in
the area. Mom said she was proud of me for acting so nice and not getting into any
fights. ( I told her that I’m a lover, not a fighter, and she said I was full
of baloney.) After a while, we decided to get out of the sun so we went and sat
at a table with big umbrella. I jumped up in a chair and Mom put my water bowl on
the table so I could lean down and get a drink from time to time. Lots of people stopped in their tracks and
took pictures of us because they thought Mom and her friend were so cute.
Then, you will never guess what happened! I was approached about being kind of a poster
boy for the Humane Society! These people try to find homes for dogs who are
orphans, like I was, and they thought I might be a good spokesdog since my own
story turned out so happily. I said I would be glad to do it and when asked
what I would charge, I said a hundred cookies and balls each day. (I drive a
hard bargain.) So, tune in next time, friends and neighbors, and I will introduce
you to a couple of fine looking furry friends. See you later, alligator!
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