Where I Fuss About Holidays For Rabbits!

Well, I have seen it all now! We have just had another stupid holiday, and, believe it or not, it was a holiday celebrating rabbits! Of all the hare-brained ideas! Why would anyone want to have a holiday for them? Human puppies think rabbits are soft, sweet, cute little animals that bring them baskets of candy, but dogs know better. Rabbits are actually evil, furry little terrorists who live and thrive in darkness. And, not that I’m bitter, but I never saw any rabbit with a basket and none of them ever brought me any candy.

As usual, of course, Mom wanted to dress me up in a dumb old costume. But when she came toward me with a headband of bunny ears, I just flat out said “No.” I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere. What’s next? Is she going to try to dress me like a squirrel? Is she going to make me wear a mailman costume? My reputation is already in shreds, pretty soon I won’t even be accepted in decent society any more.

Mom said “Let’s talk about this.” She told me that she knew I was having trouble catching rabbits although I hadn’t said anything about it. She said with them being so fast and able to hide in tiny places where I can’t fit, that I might not ever be able to catch one. But then, she said, “I have an idea. What if you put on the bunny ears and go out in the yard? Maybe they will think you are a bunny, too, and won’t run away from you and then you can catch one!” Well, I have to say, I never did think about that before. Mom can be pretty smart every once in a while.

So, she put the bunny ears on me and took about 300 pictures which she promised to destroy later on. Then, I went out in my yard and lay down real still so that the rabbits would come over to welcome me and that’s when I would ‘neak up and pounce. Things didn’t work out the way I planned though. I waited and waited and none of them ever came over.  When I squinted, I could see them looking out at me from under the shed and if I didn’t know better, I would swear they were giggling. Who knows why, I swear rabbits never do make any sense. I finally gave up and went back in the house and told Mom somebody must have tipped them off. “We must have a mole,” she said and then it hit me that I just might know who it is. I will probably have to go undercover though, to get the evidence I need, so you might not see me for a while. Now, I have to go figure out my disguise.